So I have been obsessed with the band Girls lately. I found them while reading up on stuff having to do with cultish religious environments, particularly bible-based cults lately. The interest in bible-based cults came about because I think learning about different ways faith and biblical interpretations are used to control and abuse people is helpful to my journey of understanding my own path, and yeah, that’s just the kind of weird stuff I do for fun, rather than watching reality tv on one-eyed swamp monsters in Cajun country, or looking up nail polish tutorials, or laughing at poorly done arts and craft projects at regretsy.

I was looking at stuff about The Children of God cult, one infamously known for prostitution as a form of “ministry” and outreach, and responsible for a significant amount of child abuse. That’s when I ran into this mindblowing interview with Chris Owens, a musician. He seems to be struggling personally, recently quitting the band, but the article about him growing up in the cult, getting out, and making music piqued my interest, as did his forthright acknowledgement of trauma and substance abuse problems due to his experiences. It made me smile when I read that he liked church singing, nod my head in understanding when he said after he got out that he didn’t tell people for a decade, and then shudder when I read that his brother had died of untreated pneumonia because they didn’t believe in doctors. I am so lucky that never happened in my family but stuff like that got way too close a few times.

Anyway, so I listened to his “Father, Son, and Holy Ghost” Album from 2007. And I loved it. “Honey Bunny” and “Vomit” are two of my favorite songs on the album, although there weren’t any I didn’t like. In “Honey Bunny,” he sings about the hope of finding love for who he is, despite his skinny body, dirty hair, and drug use, that he wants a girl who will “love me for all the reasons everyone hates me.” The song “Vomit” is about a girl he couldn’t get over, and the title was based on Proverbs 26:11, an apt bible verse noting that “As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.”

So I’ve had this CD on repeat and have been visibly annoying certain other people who wish to use the home stereo, ostensibly to play terrible dubstep and Animals as Leaders. Whatever. Ain’t gonna happen. I am in love. “Nights I spend alone, I spend em runnin’ around lookin’ for you, baby…”